Monday, May 26, 2008

Why Do People Think It's Their Business...

... and their "right" to comment on YOUR goals?
Setting a personal goal and reaching it is something that you already know will be hard work. But, that it will pay off once you've accomplished it. It's something that you do for yourself. So why do other people feel the need to dictate what, and how you should go about doing it?
For example:
According to, my ideal weight is between 113 and 130 pounds.
I have made the choice that my goal weight is 130 pounds. I know what I look like that that weight, I know my pant size will be around an 8 in womens, that my arms will lose that flab, my ever persistent double chin will go away, my thighs won't rub together anymore, and if I continue with my elliptical routine I will have an ass that you could bounce a quarter off of. 130 pounds is a comfortable, attainable, familiar number to me.
113 is another story, I don't know what I would look like at 113 pounds. So, I figure I'm going to get down to 130 and go from there. If I can look at my body when I'm 130lbs, and see how losing 17 more pounds would benefit me, then I'm gonna go for it. If I think I look great and am feeling comfortable at 130 - then I'll stay put.
A lot of that has to do with the fact that I'm not changing to be "skinny", I'm changing to be healthy. At the same time, with how busty I am, I don't want to look like I'm about to fall over due to being "top heavy" LOL.
I've chosen to not mention what I'm doing to too many people in my life, because I hate being pestered about it. "So, how's that diet going?"... "Seeing any results yet?"... and yadda yadda. It makes me feel like they are just waiting for me to fail. Like they might as well just ask "So, have you totally bombed out yet?"
But, with the few that I have shared it with - they are feeling the need to tell me what they think is an appropriate amount of weight for me to lose. It's frustrating because I don't think that their input is necessary . This is MY personal goal. I didn't ask for advice on it, and I'm not asking for their thoughts either. It's a goal I've set that I feel is a great one for me.
Maybe they don't see how their comments and opinions come off so negatively?


Amber said...

I understand. I was really hesitant to tell some people, too, but I've been surprised by their support. (Thank God.)

Your goals are for you. Unless those people can achieve them in your stead, they need to stuff it.

I think 130 is a great goal! It would be too small for me. I would be a size 2 probably, since I wear an 8 at 165.

The long and short of it is that it's your body, your health, and your life you're improving.

(((hugs))) I hope you can find some support instead of the criticism.

Mary said...

Girl, I hear you. Could it be jealousy?

I finally had to ask a few people to stop making remarks about me going to the gym, because it makes me feel guilty that I'm doing something for me. Which is totally backwards thinking, because we are doing this to be healthy to be around those we love longer.

Who I Am said...

Girl, you just keep on keepin' on! You are doing great and don't worry about other people opinions. I'm so proud of you. You set your own goals and follow them. You can do this!