Warped Vision

We're planning our trip to Texas next week.  I am really excited because, although I am changing plans with the gorgeous Leah and her family, I get to spend New Year's Eve with my sisters.  This hasn't happened in quite some time.  My middle sister celebrates every year, and loves going all out and dressing up, and enjoying the night like many other successful DINKs do.  The party she's hosting this year has a theme, even:  Black & White.

Being a mom, living in jeans and changing into yoga pants ASAP, my wardrobe lacked some necessary oomph.  A trip to TJ Maxx was in order.  The thing I love about stores like Ross, TJ Maxx, and Marshalls is that you can try on many different types of clothing all at once, and it's kind of like a treasure hunt in the process.  I don't mind digging and looking for a diamond in the rough.  I will say, it's more fun with a friend.  There's nothing like giggling for hours in the fitting rooms at discount stores and trying on outlandish things that end up looking good.  

I took 7 items to the fitting room with me.  One was a duplicate shirt.  It was really cute, kind of a racerback sleeveless top, and the front was like a tuxedo shirt.  Very cute, but it buttoned.  That can be tricky with an ample bosom.  I grabbed a Large, thought for a moment, and grabbed the XL as well.  I also took another shirt that was a Large, a size 12 satin top, a long dress that was a Large, a shirt off the clearance rack that I thought was black (but was actually navy blue), and for grins, a size Medium dress.

In the fitting room, I tried on the XL tuxedo shirt first.  I really liked the shirt, and did NOT want to crush myself by trying on the Large and having to settle for trying on the bigger one.  Unfortunately, I'm sure most of you know what I'm talking about.  It's crushing to have to resort to going up a size.  The beautiful thing was that it was too large.  MUCH too large.  I tried on the smaller of the same shirt.  It was a little too big, as well, but there was no way a smaller size would fasten.  Oh, well.  It was a no-go.

The navy blue shirt was discarded immediately.  Cute top, just not appropriate for a B&W party.  My error kind of reminded me of the day in high school when my choir teacher wore one black shoe and one navy one.  Yup, Mrs. Pierce... those colors can be downright tricky.

The size 12 satin top was white, and fit, except over my chest.  For the record, satin has no give.  The long, black dress was too long, and not quite right.  The other top I took back there was that trapeze cut that flared out a lot, and it was too big in the first place.  NOT flattering.  

The last thing I tried on?  The size Medium.  I cannot allow myself, somehow, to admit that I can wear a medium.  When I shuffle through the racks, I still find myself leaning toward the 14s and the XL sizes.  My head knows that I've lost weight.  My eyes, though, cannot see it.  My eyes are still seeing the body I had in April of this past year.  

It was amazing trying on the dress, and it fit really nicely.  I didn't purchase it, though, and I'm a little reluctant about that.  It wasn't dressy enough for the occasion, and I didn't have extra money to just be shopping for myself.  It had a really great neckline, and wasn't too clingy.  Maybe we'll meet again another time...  

I did end up going to the mall and shopping in XXI, a store that recently opened locally.  It's really nice to be able to shop in a junior's size store with the sense and modesty of an adult.  They have some fabulous things in there, but they have some things that are quite inappropriate for me.  LOL.  I ended up purchasing a sleeveless knit top that is just dressy enough without being too much.  I'm not sure whether I'll be wearing it with dark jeans or black pants just yet, but it'll look great either way.  I feel sure of it.

You can certainly expect some pictures of me and my sisters from the party.  Just have to wait a week or so.  ;)

Update on a Sunday?!

Yeah, what can I say... The new goals have me motivated.

The hubs and I did the 30 day shred tonight.  The weather cooled back down into the 40's today (yeah, it was just in the 70's 2 days ago...), and my right hip is stiff, but we did it.  I did 3 lb weights, and we went back to Level 1.  We're paying for the lethargy and sloth, but it feels good to be back in the saddle.

Yay for doing what we should!  OH!  and another good one... I have a habit of giving in anytime he asks for a snack or whatever... Well, I was in town yesterday and got some hot cocoa packets instead of soda or beer, which I'd drink a bunch of at a time.  Cocoa is an indulgence, but it's a more responsible choice.

I'm so happy for my friend, Leah, and more than a little envious... Not only does she have 17 mile long legs, a gorgeous smile, and a beautiful family, she bought some new, smaller jeans!  Yay, Leah!  You are a rock star, and you are gorgeous!  I am proud of you!  <3

Okay, now I'm ready to post...

I cannot do this without the accountability of WW online.  I can't.  I have intentions of tracking points, but without the online tools, I'm not doing it.  I had a FABULOUS routine where I'd sit and track after EVERY thing I ate.  Now it's been a month without it, and I guarantee I've gained.  Thank God my scale's battery died.  I'm sure I don't want to know.

I have a little negative, then I have some positive, so bear with me.  The 30 day Shred?  Haven't done it in over a week and a half.  My body has been hurting.  I'm struggling with day-to-day things like chores and laundry.  Not struggling as in my depression is bad again and I don't want to do anything, but physically I'm limited.  I don't know if I all ready mentioned this, but I went out for margaritas and all sorts of fried, cheesy goodness recently with two friends.  I got there first, and sat in my comfy chair.  When it was time to take pics, I really struggled to get up.  Kinda blew my cover a little bit, to say the least.  I had been trying SO hard to not let on that I felt that bad.  

I am frustrated because I have given in to my darling husband and his sweet tooth and snacking binges.  He likes to have a couple of beers on the weekends, which is fine, and he's responsible about it and all, but I CANNOT drink that stuff without paying the price on the scale.  I've noticed other physical changes with changes in my diet, and I just have to get back to doing it right.

So, like Mary, I am going to post some new goals, as mine from a while back are blown.  Maybe I should be more realistic:

I need to do the Shred video 5 days each week.  whether S does it with me or not.

Tuesday and Thursday I need to do the Shred and my Pilates video.

I have 12 weeks until my girls' getaway to NOLA.  I want to be at my goal of 165 by then.  

Those are the big ones.  I will also be using some Christmas money to get myself set back up on WW online.  I just have to do it.  It's going to be a big one-time investment (again), but if I think back over this past month, I can think of $17 that I could've NOT spent on snack food and put toward WW instead.  I'll be taking a stand for myself in that aspect.

Let's talk good things for a little while...

I woke up this past Tuesday morning at 5:30 to a sweet little face staring into mine.  "Good morning, beautiful Mommy!"  I'll tell you, that is CERTAINLY the way to start the day.  The boys have both been so encouraging to me lately, and with kids, you know whatever they say comes from the heart.  My sweetheart of a husband even stopped me in the kitchen with a hug a few days ago, and said, "Baby, I don't tell you enough, but you do such a great job around here and with the boys.  Thank you for all you do."  (Pick your jaw up.  Men are capable of doing this... I couldn't believe it, either!)

More good:

Many thanks to a fellow CG wife that offered to send me some hand-me-downs.  I don't know if she wants me to divulge her name, so I'll keep you guessing.  She sent me quite a few pairs of pants, all size 10 or around there, and a size 9 pair of jeans.  I will tell you now, that if I can wear those size 9's at some point in the next six months, I will dance a jig and post the video here.  I'm not kidding.  She also sent me a couple of adorable blazers.  I am so thankful for her generosity.  There's something quite hysterical in this situation.  I can leave my home, go shopping for hours trying on pants and tops, praying something will fit, and come home empty-handed every time.  HOWEVER, a friend that has never seen me in person, sends me a box of clothes, and they all fit.  Figure that out!  The pants were all the perfect length.  Totally cracks me up.

Don't give up on me, friends.  

It's Thursday!

No weigh in today... my scale's battery is dead.  

I have some thoughts and gripes, but it's about time to get the big boy from school, so I'm leaving you in suspense...

Stay tuned.  ;)

We were supposed to be measuring every Monday, but that didn't happen.  The DSL connection at my house was out this weekend, and I had to survive without my blog fixes for 2.5 days.  I'm back and better than ever, though.

Here are last week's measurements, taken on 12/6/08.  (the order is original measurement, current measurement)  There are a lot of green numbers, which indicate a loss.  Yay!

Bust: 42 - 40.5
Chest: 37 - 36.75
Waist: 36 - 36
Hips: 40.5 - 39
Thighs: 24.5 (right) 23.5
Calves: 16.5 (right) 16.5
Upper arm: 14.5 (right) 14.75
Forearm: 11.5 (right) 11.5

Today's weigh in

This past week was full of dining on a fabulous meal from Thanksgiving.  We were so lucky to have friends that prepared and delivered a great meal for us.  Our family had tossed a stomach bug back and forth for a week so we weren't able to get out and participate with our friends as planned.  Leah, P, Rochelle, and A - we thank you so much for thinking of us.  

As the week progressed, and we started feeling better, I went to the store to get groceries.  Much to my delight (though it should have been dismay) the Candy Cane Hershey's Kisses were available.  I can not tell you enough how much I love these things.  White chocolate kisses with peppermint pieces inside.  mmm.  Needless to say, I bought a bag, and have been sneaking 3 or 4 at a time.  

I've also been frustrated about my medical junk, and ate the better part of a BOX of Kraft Mac & Cheese the other day.  It is always my emotional security blanket.  It has been for a long time.  It's kind of funny that mac & cheese is my comfort food choice.  I recognized that I was being an emotional eater - and confessed it to Leah on the phone.  

So to make a long story longer, my weight today is 182.5.

Same as last week.  I didn't lose, but I didn't gain, and this week I think that's an accomplishment.  

Stuart is going to take my measurements tonight to see how the Shred is working.  Because of my joint pain we're alternating the Shred and pilates.  The Pilates is a nice break to lengthen my muscles and really take time to stretch.

BTW, my lab results were normal, so I see a rheumatologist in a few weeks for more testing.  The good news is that I don't have Lupus, the frustrating news is that I still don't know what's wrong.

Progress Slideshow

Wow.  That's about all I can say.  This slideshow is a compilation of pics from April to now.  I still have a long way to go, but I have come quite a way, too.  I have to encourage myself with that.

I am having a hard time waiting for the results from my recent medical testing.  I'm feeling really badly, and I'm trying to just make it through the day.  I'm trying to do the Shred at least 3 days a week.  My joints are really inflamed, and I'm waiting on lab results to have the exact diagnosis.  I did do Pilates last night, which felt great.  If I can just keep moving and challenging my body, I'll be all right.

I have to tone up my arms and I have to get this fat off my belly.  I find myself focusing on these two areas instead of giving myself credit for how far I've come.  Oh, and looking at these pictures makes me gasp.  I can and will do this.  I will.

Roni's Contest Entry

I entered the Mary Lou's Weigh Platform Giveaway!

Check out Roni’s Weight Loss Blog for more information.

and if you readers haven't checked out Roni's site (different than our Roni ;) ) I encourage you to do so! She has lots of great BTDT advice, and has a site for recipes at Green Lite Bites!