Monday, October 19, 2009

So what is my goal, really?

I say all the time that it's not about being skinny, it's about being healthy. In ways, it's completely true. I am more concerned with being around for a long time for my kids and husband, and really enjoying life than I am with the size of my jeans. In other ways, it's a total load of crap. I do care how much I weigh. If I didn't, I wouldn't post my progress every week. I wouldn't even check it every week. This post is about my health, though.

My close friends know that I've been to the doctor about my depression and anxiety level. My blood pressure was alarmingly high to have been on bp meds for a little while - 146/100. I left with a new prescription for a different blood pressure med, and some anti-anxiety medicine. My husband has been incredibly supportive, but I'm feeling very down right now. I am lacking hope, and the joy and zeal for life that I usually have. I'm disconnected from my husband and kids, emotionally, and from most others in every possible way.

If you haven't heard from me lately, please don't take it personally. I'm trying to work through this. I'm working on becoming healthy, and right now that means I need to focus on my mental and emotional health.

No comments: